Changing perceptions: setting a budget is a choice, not a guilt-trip

Everybody works to a budget. Rich or poor, gorgeous or plain, and vapid or  intellect.

Absolutely everybody!

Whatever your motive or intention for setting a budget, it's yours alone and you don't have to explain yourself. I'm speaking from experience when I say that you don't have to explain yourself.

Wedding suppliers, especially the more established ones, will try to make you feel guilty that your budget isn't going to "show them the money". Don't bite! Don't fall into the trap! Leave them be and find somebody else, somewhere else to help you.

This goes for everything. Once you've made a decision about your budget for an aspect of the wedding, stick to it! When the florist tells you that they will give you a discount on the centerpieces if you get them, (even though you hadn't planned on getting floral centrepieces), just say thanks and be on your way. Some will be very pushy. This was my stock response:

"I really appreciate the artistry involved in your work, and am so chuffed that you're doing my bouquet! If I decide to change my mind about centerpieces, you will definitely be first on my list!"

I know that sounds a little put on and superficial, but consider for a moment the reality of the entire transaction. It's a commercial transaction, one that brings some pleasure, but is only really at its core a transfer of money between you (representing your emotional investment) and the wedding merchant (representing patronage and profit). Unless a wedding merchant is a close friend or a beloved family member, they don't have your best interest at heart.

When wedding merchants say "but it's for your wedding... a once-in-a-lifetime event... you'll regret it if you don't get the upgrade...", they're not looking out for you or doing you some kind of public service. They're not going to be sitting around afterwards saying to themselves, "that poor bride really should have given this more thought, now she's ruined the well-being of her special day and she will regret it for the rest of her life!"

No sir! They'll be re-thinking and going over their sales pitch for future sales to see where they failed with you and to strategise on how they can rope in the next poor bride that comes along.

It's a treacherous dance. Be aware of that. Businesses know this. It's your emotional well-being versus their profit-making. You're responsible for yours, stick to your guns and say no to emotionally loaded and (dare I say it) abusive wedding industry gimmicks!