Tried it myself and I love it!

For great wedding favors for people who did you favors

For the past 3 weeks, I've been attached to my Too2Late watch that I gushed about earlier.  I'm going to go ahead with my plan to give them as post-wedding favors. They are a super idea!

I've worn mine to work, jogging and generally everywhere else. Since purchasing it, I haven't once slipped on my beloved indulgent-but-I-deserve-it! Longines Evidenza. The digital movement is simply inserted into the silicon band and voila! Weighs absolutely nothing at all. My candy orange watch came in a cute little jar with instruction manual and a 2-year manufacturers warranty.

At €18 from the high street retailer, I'm not complaining.

Thank you cards: recyled, reincarnated engagement cards

After the engagement party, my fiancee and I had quite a collection of engagement cards which came attached to gifts so kindly bestowed on us by the guests. I wasn't expecting gifts at all. I know this might seem odd to you but I was brought up never to expect gifts. So even now, getting a gift, even on my birthday always comes as a sort of shock to me (a little sad, but very true!).

Where was I? Oh yes, the engagement cards' collection.

Although I can be quite sentimental, I've never been a hoarder of things. I do like to save money, however, which you could say is a type of hoarding of sorts . The important distinction for me is that the bank keeps my cash and I don't have to be stuck with a pile of cash stashed away in some enclave in my house. My point is...

You won't find a thing in my wardrobe (alas other than my wedding dress!) that I haven't worn at least once or twice in a month. Everything that I have I use, and use frequently enough to justify their presence in my cupboard, in my kitchen, in my life!

I like to shed things. I give things away to other people who might need or want them more when I don't need those things right here, right now in my life. You see I am completely freaked out by knick knacks and all sorts just lying around, gathering dust. That to me is the very definition of chaos and disorder.

Thus said, when my partner and I got all those engagement cards, I immediately found the perfect use for them. Some people might trash them (they were only gift attachments after all), or put them away sealed in a box in a garage or a spare room. Hmm...

I convinced my partner that we should only keep the portion of the cards with handwritten sentiments on them, and recycle the rest. The majority of the cards we received were bi-folds (like the majority of machine made cards of course). I separated the un-used part of the bi-folded cards (the part with the graphics or adornment at the front).

What did I do with those?

I carefully scribbled some sentiment at the back and sent them out again into the world as our thank you cards for the engagement party attendees. My overriding motivation was that it was an original idea which complimented my newfound principle about recycling as much as I can, being sensitive to the fact that most people would have thrown out the same cards anyway.

As it turned out, feedback was more positive than I had imagined. As is the case with all things in life, not everybody was impressed.

When I opened an envelope containing a cheque courtesy of one of my parents' friends -- a very generous cheque which to this day seems way too generous because my partner and I hardly know him-- enclosed was the following note:

"Wishing you both all the happiness and prosperity the world has to offer. We hope this helps you out a little on the start of a beautiful journey. All our very best wishes, Auntie & Uncle...PS: We also hope this will help you purchase some appropriate stationery for future thank you letters you may wish to write".

I was a little offended mind you, although not for long. Here was a couple we hardly knew who seemed genuinely to wish us well and seemed genuinely concerned that we were living on poverty street (that we couldn't afford "appropriate stationery").

All I could do was to post this reply:

"Dear Auntie & Uncle..., Thank you for your incredibly generous gift. It is overwhelmingly generous and we are extremely touched. We will use it to start an education fund for our firstborn. We'll also use a small portion of your gift towards investing in some luxurious stationery. We toast your generosity as we start the next stage of our life together. Thank you very much, M & L... PS: We hope this hand-pressed watermarked French paper meets with your approval."

Changing perceptions: setting a budget is a choice, not a guilt-trip

Everybody works to a budget. Rich or poor, gorgeous or plain, and vapid or  intellect.

Absolutely everybody!

Whatever your motive or intention for setting a budget, it's yours alone and you don't have to explain yourself. I'm speaking from experience when I say that you don't have to explain yourself.

Wedding suppliers, especially the more established ones, will try to make you feel guilty that your budget isn't going to "show them the money". Don't bite! Don't fall into the trap! Leave them be and find somebody else, somewhere else to help you.

This goes for everything. Once you've made a decision about your budget for an aspect of the wedding, stick to it! When the florist tells you that they will give you a discount on the centerpieces if you get them, (even though you hadn't planned on getting floral centrepieces), just say thanks and be on your way. Some will be very pushy. This was my stock response:

"I really appreciate the artistry involved in your work, and am so chuffed that you're doing my bouquet! If I decide to change my mind about centerpieces, you will definitely be first on my list!"

I know that sounds a little put on and superficial, but consider for a moment the reality of the entire transaction. It's a commercial transaction, one that brings some pleasure, but is only really at its core a transfer of money between you (representing your emotional investment) and the wedding merchant (representing patronage and profit). Unless a wedding merchant is a close friend or a beloved family member, they don't have your best interest at heart.

When wedding merchants say "but it's for your wedding... a once-in-a-lifetime event... you'll regret it if you don't get the upgrade...", they're not looking out for you or doing you some kind of public service. They're not going to be sitting around afterwards saying to themselves, "that poor bride really should have given this more thought, now she's ruined the well-being of her special day and she will regret it for the rest of her life!"

No sir! They'll be re-thinking and going over their sales pitch for future sales to see where they failed with you and to strategise on how they can rope in the next poor bride that comes along.

It's a treacherous dance. Be aware of that. Businesses know this. It's your emotional well-being versus their profit-making. You're responsible for yours, stick to your guns and say no to emotionally loaded and (dare I say it) abusive wedding industry gimmicks!

Say yes to the BRIDEZILLA tag, and don't give a toss!

I was digging around online for a satisfactory definition of bridezilla and I chanced upon this article which was posted on that heinously upbeat blog, offbeat bride. ;-) I love so many aspects of that site, not least because it encourages personal creativity.

When I was planning my own wedding, I tried, at all cost, to not appear to be a bridezilla. And this effort came at a cost.

I ducked, I swerved, I swam up-creek just to avoid being "bridezilla", without stopping to assess why exactly I was ducking/swerving/swimming upstream without a paddle.

That was my mistake. Don't let it be yours. Ominous, ha?

If you're like me and planning only to have one wedding, your wedding is not the time to lose your backbone.

It's not the time to lose your voice and be swayed by every opinionated auntie, ma-in-law, jill and joe, just so that you won't appear to be an "inflexible, controlling, bridezilla".

I've realised that when planning a wedding, the label  "inflexible" might, for instance, be whacked on a bride who'll say "no it won't" in response to her mother-in-law's friendly advice that a $1,000 photographer will produce the same results as the couple's preferred $4,000 photographer.

Say what?

When that same bride books the $4,000 photographer (which, btw, she can afford and she wants to afford), she is now labelled "bridezilla" by her mother-in-law.

Photography is a very good example. I compare wedding photography to diamond shopping.  There is absolutely no way in hell, unless it has frozen over, that the same size diamond which sells for $1,000 will be the same quality as the $4,000 diamond.

Absolutely no way.

It's your wedding. Stand up for what you want. Don't lose your voice amidst the maddening crowd.

Here's a contrast for you...

When I told friends that my now husband had purchased a hand crafted Italian suit which cost more than my wedding dress, they didn't say "watch that groomzilla".

No sir.

What they said was "he's always had such refined taste...aww, you're so lucky".

Hmm...

Thank You Cards: when a handwritten note will suffice

Three years ago, I went to a wedding of a good friend. Very well organised. Lovely venues. Faultless execution. 

The bride's pick-me-up gown perfectly matched the colour of the Rolls she was being transported in (both were "like a pink-beige champagne shade", the bride proudly told me). I never knew this was possible in Sydney. I was truly in awe.

Her generously proportioned bridemaids were decked out in  long black and white creations (a black dress with diagonally placed strips of white fabric, or was it the other way around?). 

The groomsmen wore dollar-sign cufflinks harking to the groom's success as a career banker.

We could tell the couple loved and enjoyed every moment. This was all that mattered, and all that matters still. 

Who cares what everybody else thinks, right?

Wrong!

When it comes to thank you cards, I don't mind saying that what people think matters a little bit. Just a little bit. ;-)  For this wedding, we received the printed thank you cards in less than 2 weeks. Amazing! Once again, I was struck by the bride's organisation (and yes, it was the bride's, I'm not being sexist).

When I read the folded thank you card - which also perfectly matched the wedding invite and rsvp cards - one thing really made an impression on me.

The entire note was printed. Pre-printed. Including the names of the recipients. Except for the bride and groom's signature. 

I was left feeling that I had received a letter from the bank:

"Dear Mrs P, ....Yours... Signed (squiggle here), CEO, Bank XYZ".

The other thing that really impressed me (not in a good way) was that I felt that I had come across that very same note before, with the exact same wording, in the exact same order.

And I had! It's just a very great pity that I neglected to save two of the bridal mags that featured the same sample thank you letter. Very formal. Very cold. No wonder! It was computer generated.

Tsk tsk. I'm not a stickler for etiquette at all. BUT (!!!) sending the exact same note -- and a plagiarised sample note at that -- to all your guests, with generic references to "your generous gift" without a sliver of forethought personalisation is not a good thing. 

Hmm...

think wedding, NOT cattle ranch plagiarism unoriginal TIP:

Thank you cards, what can I say? Um just some elementary-school common sense... You don't have to have monogrammed seals. It doesn't have to be written on expensive parchment paper. The envelope doesn't even have to match. But for goodness sakes' please try to PERSONALISE it, even just a little bit, and whatever you do, PLEASE don't lift it straight out of a bridal mag. 

Gifts for the bridal couple: some ideas for "the established" or "the picky"

My younger brother's wedding next month has got me into gift-giving mode.

I initially thought about just giving him and his fiancee some cash for two reasons. First, she's of Chinese heritage and is a little bit on the traditional side. From experience, cash is generally the preferred wedding gift for the more traditional Chinese. Nowadays of course it's becoming more and more acceptable and almost trendy in the Anglophone worlds for the bridal couple to ask for cash in lieu of gifts. Secondly, giving cash is much easier and much more convenient. All I have to do is transfer the money into his bank account and voila! I am spared the hassle (and the pleasure;-) of shopping around and the ensuing stress of  "what if I get them the wrong gift?"

Then I had a flash of wedding gift giving genius! I'll give the couple an IKEA gift card.

I know what you're thinking. Too practical and maybe a wee bit boring? Well yes, kind of, but (!) contextually speaking, no sir! not at all! It's also original. I haven't yet heard of anyone who's received an Ikea gift card as a wedding gift. 

You see, the couple bought a cute little house some months ago and they've been busily renovating it ever since. Over family get-togethers, I've heard them mention something about needing a new kitchen and a few things to furnish their new home. Hence, my Ikea gift card idea! 

I don't know of any young couple, no matter how established or picky they happen to be, who've never shopped and bought something they liked and found satisfyingly useful from this great equaliser of a store. I love their decorative pillows and throws and some of the bookshelves (even if they come flat-packed!) have wonderful finishes. I have one at home that visitors don't believe come from Ikea until I show them the receipt. 

think wedding, NOT unoriginal TIP:

when giving gifts some great ideas may seem bland at first and not very creative. try to really think of the overall context such as what the couple might really need and want at this stage. put things into context. ;-)

Keep it simple: DYI your way!

I'm going on the KISS principle here.


If you have limited time, are budget-conscious, and don't really want to end up simply mimicking the too busy look of most DYI decor, this may help divert your thinking into less congested mode.


Whether you're on a budget because you have no choice, or if you're on a budget simply because you have always been budget-conscious (meaning you're the kind of person who can easily afford to buy a new car but chooses not to because your old one still has 5 years left of good driving thank you very much!), this wee bit of musing will interest you.


Consider most wedding DYI decor websites (which, btw, are mostly very helpful). Most of these otherwise helpful websites will have something along the lines of:

"If you cannot afford to have an aisle runner custom made, consider purchasing an inexpensive one made from vinyl".

My immediate gut reaction to this bit of advice captioning a pitiful picture of a vinyl rug strewn with fake petals is to feel bad about myself. Why? Well, I'd feel like the poor cousin who couldn't afford the real thing ("an aisle runner custom made") even though I deserve it given as it is my special day. On top of this, I'd feel even worse that seeing as I can't afford the real thing, I'd have to settle for the truly second rate, not-cool option of waddling down towards my life partner with the very great fear of slipping on plastic (yuck!) vinyl.

My second reaction is to ask: hold on a minute! Hold on a minute there! Who says I have to have an aisle runner? Why is it a must that I have an aisle runner? Is it the end of the world if I don't get an aisle runner?

Nope.


Obviously if you really must have an aisle runner, you don't at all have to go the "cheap" looking route. You may well be a budget-conscious bride, but you don't have to settle for second best by using an obviously cheap rip-off of the desired original.

The biggest MYTH of the "how to do your wedding on a budget" school of thought is that people on a budget like to look cheap. Well, now, hold on a minute!


As a great organic and natural alternative, you could opt to use the petals of your preferred flower/s (either fresh or freeze dried) to mark off your aisle, like this little beauty:

What a great alternative (!) to the plastic vinyl aisle runner idea, without actually trying to look like a runner. More like a lovely, natural and organic walking trail towards the spot where you will say your vows. 


think wedding, NOT unoriginal TIP:

Just because things are done a certain way, and have been done a certain way for some time does not mean you have to make like sheep. and follow unthinkingly. Just because you want something that you can't afford does not mean you have to settle for something obviously second best. This is your wedding. Get creative. Think petals not plastic. This goes for everything. You get the idea. :-)

Great wedding favors for people who did you favors for your wedding

Source: www.too2late.com

While I was out shopping for presents for my wedding team (or, if you like, bridal party) the other day, I got to thinking about how I'd best express my gratitude to them without imposing myself on them.

I spotted these great Too 2 Late silicon watches in a knick-knack jewellers. They come in various sunshine-y colours destined to brighten someone's day. The great thing is they promise to be waterproof and shock proof so they should be really cool for jogging, swimming or hiking, all good things most of us love. They are packaged in a wee little glass bottle. Too funky! The price? Only 18 Euros and that's retail!


For all these reasons, I'm getting ready to splash out and get me one too! Extra happy to find something like these as I'd really started to scratch the heck out of my treasured one and only work/going out/everything watch.


Gotta say, rather these than some monogrammed-with-the-bridal-couple's-names' champagne flutes or some such. How many of us have actually used those shot glasses emblazoned with the married couple's initials and wedding date? Or those scrolly silver/brass/gold picture frames that came with an insert of the happy couple's prenup pic? How many? I have a collection of some such paraphernalia (or if you like, sentimental nuisances) jammed into storage boxes in my poor parents' garage.


Okay, so maybe we're snobs. Or maybe we can just put it down to having a secure sense of ourselves. Me, for instance, I like to drink wine out of glasses that bear my own initials instead of somebody else's.


think wedding, NOT unoriginal TIP:

When shopping for presents for your wedding party, you don't necessarily have to go the well-trod path of having your names and wedding date engraved onto that perfect piece of silver jewellery. Just that piece on its own, nicely packaged, with a brief note expressing your gratitude will be more appreciated than if you had selfishly vandalised it. After all, unless that person were to develop amnesia, they would know how and why they came by that gift. Would you yourself actually (and actively) wear an item of jewellery engraved with somebody else's monograms? Not unless of course if it was your great-grandmother's art deco engagement ring. ;-) Think about it.